Where to start ,,, my very first pregnancy I was a young teenager,, never had responsibility other than to just take care of myself,, I met a very nice young man ,,, we hit it off but I wasn’t ready to be committed to anyone but myself,, we had intercourse one night and I left his house,, he asked me to stay but I chose the door ,,, about a few weeks later I saw myself so fatigue all the time ,,, I just always wanted to sleep ,,, I slept all day as much as I could ,, I didn’t know what was wrong with me ,, I had a very light discolored menstrual period so I took a pregnancy test ,,,
With out a doubt sure enough I was pregnant,,, so scared to tell anyone I told only my sister ,,, she advised me to tell him ,, as I worked my nerves up I drove to his house to tell him and a female opened the door ,, I asked for him but he wasn’t home ,,, outraged and scared I just told her ,,, she never relayed the message and I made that decision to have an abortion,, so young and nieve I thought that was my only option,,, I sat at the clinic terrified in tears ,, no support no one to lean on ,,, and i will never forget that horrific experience,,,
I am now 41 with 5 children ,, as i screamed and cried on that table ,, they almost didn’t give me the procedure,,, I’ve been nothing but haunted by that awful choice ,, I cry till this day about it ,,, I ask God constantly to forgive me ,, I have dreams about my baby ,, I know it was a boy ,, I seen him ,,, God to go back in time I wish I could take it all back ,,, what I would do to have my baby,,,, I never know how to get over this ,,, I wish there was someone I could talk to that understands and has been through it ,,, it is an evil wicked thing to go through …
I cry all the time even after all these years ,,, why didn’t I give my baby a chance ….
