46 years ago I was barely 16 and pregnant. I had an abusive father, a mother that figured it out and offered no other options and an older sister that did offer an option of abortion. I didn’t even know what that was or what was involved. The appointment was made, and the ex-boyfriends family provided the money. I know that my father would have beat me and thrown me out of the house. I felt I had no other options.
The appointment came, I was dropped off, there was very little said to me, no ultrasound, no counseling, no options. The procedure was done, I was shuffled out to work my evening shift at my part-time job in pain and bleeding profusely. It was never spoken of again by me, my sister, my mother until years later. It was the worst thing I have ever done in my life!
I have had hours of counseling, abortion recovery sessions and even a mock funeral for my baby. I am a Christian now and have asked forgiveness from God for this sin and I know that Jesus died on the cross to redeem me of my sins. I know I am forgiven. But, the self unforgiveness will always be with me. I will take it to my grave. I was doing adult things as a child without the adult mind to deal with the consequences.
I think about my baby almost every day and I know that he/she is in heaven with my Savior. I look forward to seeing my child face to face in heaven one day. I am very thankful that there seems to be more options for girls like me now in the world and those options are easier to find. I know that life is precious and abortion is not the answer. No matter how many hours of counseling that is done, it was my choice….
