Melly

I was into my marriage 2 years when I became pregnant. I was terrified. I walked into the front room to show the pregnancy test results to my husband at the time. He saw how scared I was. He put his hand on my shoulder and said very sweetly, “We’re supposed to be happy like the people on tv”. Then in the next moment, his face hardened and he said, “Either you get an abortion or I’ll divorce you”.

I loved him so.

On June 25, 1992, 3 weeks before my dad passed away, I killed my baby. I chose my husband. And two years after that, we divorced. He told me later the reason he demanded the murder was he “didn’t want to pay child support”. Apparently he was already planning an escape, which was another blind-sided blow.

I ran into him again in 2001. He tells me he now has two kids. I’m standing there thinking, “Her kids were good enough to live, but mine had to die…”

It’s been decades. I hurt every day over this. Still. The point of my saying I never wanted kids to begin with is to magnify how DEVASTATING an abortion is. I often wonder how badly ending your baby’s life affects a woman that someday wanted children.

It kills the baby and the mother.