I had my abortion back in April and I thought it was the right thing to do at the time, but now I know that i was wrong. We talked about having kids for awhile, we have been together for 16 years, we stopped using protection and was going to let it happen when it happened. Our close friends were also doing the same and they got pregnant after the first try, while we continued to struggle for years so we stopped trying.
After getting some baby fever and our close friends also going for baby two, we started trying again. It was fun and spontaneous, but then another year and half went by and still nothing. I wanted a baby so bad, I prayed to God to be blessed with a child, after another 6 months I lost hope and started to accept it wasn’t going to happen.
Then at the end of March, my period was late and I started to get excited and nervous and I took a test and it was positive, finally positive and I was over the moon. My excitement quickly was replaced with fear. My husband almost immediately started to panic and question everything, he never pushed me in any direction and always told me he would support whatever decision I felt was right.
I was pregnant for 9 weeks, and I was miserable every single day of those weeks. It’s been about 5 months since the abortion and I wish I could feel that sickness again, I feel like I let God down. I feel like I let my only chance at having a child, slip away. I haven’t felt the same since.
